Junk News Junkie

A few weeks ago, I was going to write a post based on this story. Man oh man, I had a lot to say about how vampire-obsessed teens have started a new trend: biting each other and then licking or sucking the blood.

No, seriously, I’m not kidding.

But somehow something more interesting came up so I decided to shelve the topic. Well guess what. It’s back in the news.

A young couple, Aaron Homer and Amanda Williamson, were arrested for attacking a homeless man and drinking his blood. The homeless man, Robert Maley, had been staying with the couple in exchange for being their blood bank, until they stabbed him for refusing to let them continue to suck his blood.

Whoa. Providing shelter for a homeless man so you can drink his blood? That is truly disturbing.

Now the media have been going on about how shows like Twilight and True Blood have glamourised (pardon the pun – if you’ve read the books, you’ll get it haha) vampires, making the ‘lifestyle’ seem sexy and intriguing.

I’m not sure that’s completely true. While no doubt the Twilight phenomenon has played a part in the appeal of this blood-sucking trend (especially with the young folk), but I think pop culture's fascination with vampires isn’t something new. I mean, who hasn’t watched Bram Stoker's Dracula [1897] and felt a tingle of intrigue.

In an article in Australasian Policing last year, Queensland scholar David Keyworth listed contemporary examples of ''vampire'' crimes - a Welsh teenager who murdered an elderly woman whose heart was removed, a 1989 Brisbane riverbank throat-cutting involving the drinking of blood, and a Kentucky teenage vampire clan who cut each other to drink blood. There was even an unofficial psychiatric disorder called Renfield's Syndrome involving drinking blood for sexual pleasure.

Now not only is it disgusting, but health officials are warning that this vampire-inspired biting fad could be dangerous. Licking or sucking another person’s blood exposes both parties to the dangers of blood-borne diseases such as hepatitis and HIV, as well as the risk of getting a nasty infection. Typically, 10 to 15 percent of human bites wounds become infected.

I mean, seriously, don’t these people know that’s one of the ways you can get HIV? Why would you do that to yourself?

Apparently, here’s why:

“Having that thick, warm copper-tasting blood in my mouth is the best thing I can think of!” according to a post by GothicGirl10 on a vampire-related teen website.

Good grief. Someone get this girl some help.

Now I myself have never drunk blood. I may have consumed it in medium-well steak, or by licking a cut to stop it from bleeding. But I’m pretty sure Edward and Bella would agree that that doesn’t make me a vampire. And that’s just fine by me. I'm sure immortality isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

P.S – Teenagers out there: Please don't bite each other and suck each others' blood.

P.P.S - Edward, real men don’t sparkle.

I love ridiculous crime stories. It amuses me to no end. Especially stories like this one: this guy has got to be the dumbest burglar in Britain.

Burglar Jason Williams stole his next-door neighbour's net curtains and was caught when he hung them up in his own window. Jason Williams was jailed for two years and five months after admitting his fourth burglary. Elizabeth Lowe, the defendant’s lawyer described the crime as 'not very sophisticated'.

Haha, you think?

Now this guy was hoping the Force would keep him safe. Unfortunately, not even the Force can save you from your own stupidity.

A man in a Darth Vader mask robbed a convenience store in Detroit, Michigan. However he forgot to put on the mask, which allegedly belongs to his 9-year-old son, until he was already inside the store, within range of the surveillance camera!


In another ridiculous story, Florida cops searched a 25-year-old man during a routine traffic stop and found a bag of marijuana and a bag of cocaine in his buttocks. However, (in a panic, I’m sure) the driver said only the marijuana belonged to him.

I am salivatingly curious as to how he’s going to explain the bag of cocaine, that’s apparently not his, and how it got up his bum.God, I hope they do a follow-up on this story!

Now this story, I thought was rather inspirational. Not the stealing part, but the way the shop owner handled the situation. A teenage boy was caught shoplifting in a costume shop in Virgina and, rather than pressing charges and jeopardise the teen's future, the store owner Andrew Perry decided to have the boy should learn from his mistake.

He had the teen dress in a Bert (of the ‘Bert & Ernie’ Sesame Street fame) costume and spend two six-hour days in front of the store holding a sign that read: "I got caught shoplifting at Halloween Express."

My only concern is the poor little kids who saw him and now think Bert is a shoplifter!

"I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look inside" is the tasteful and classy message Chadwin Reynolds left on his Facebook page, for all his ‘friends’ to see.

Unfortunately, Mr. Reynolds, here pictured in an even more tasteful and classy Hustler tshirt, is a teacher at a public school in the Bronx and according to a New York Post report, the teacher went above and beyond his duty as educator, ‘friending’ half-dozen female students and writing creepy comments like, "This is sexy," under some of their Facebook photos. He also tried to get one of the girls to go out with him by scoring her number off of Facebook and sending her flowers, candy, and a teddy bear. He was fired earlier this year.

In another inappropriate case, this time Manhattan substitute Stephen D'Andrilli, ‘friended’ a handful of young women in his school, telling one student that her "boyfriend [did not] deserve a beautiful girl" like her.

He also sent another girl a message telling her she was pretty and had tried to visit her during one of her Saturday classes. Creepy!

And it’s not just the male teachers. Queens teacher Laurie Hirsch was reported to have had sex at least ten times with an 18-year-old former student in her apartment. And as proof (Why do you need to prove it? Was it a bet Mrs. Robinson?) she posted a photo of herself kissing him on Facebook.

This makes the Warwick State High School teachers’ raunchy Facebook photos look tame in comparison.

Hasn’t this happened way too many times already? Isn’t it time for a guideline that addresses teacher-student communication on Facebook? If you’re interested in more, CNN has a great discussion on what is deemed acceptable teacher-student contact on social networking sites: